So you met, built and built, built something beautiful there, and now he invites you to meet his parents. Even if you have adult children, this is still a very exciting and trembling moment for which you should prepare in advance.
“The first meeting with your partner’s parents is a very important stage in the relationship. This is a sign that you are both serious about a future together, and it gives you the opportunity to get to know the person in a new way – hear stories about their childhood, understand what kind of family they grew up in, and get an idea of what your future relatives might look like , “all this will help strengthen your partnership,” says psychologist Radmila Bakirova.
With all this, of course, the whole event can become stressful. You want to make a good first impression, so you may be nervous about whether you have enough to talk about. But don’t rush to bite your nails from excitement: what to do to reduce tension?
Unsplash Know that everyone is experiencing anxiety According to Radmila, it’s quite normal to be nervous. “It's natural to feel some anxiety. You want to make a good impression, and if you assume that this is a serious relationship, you hope that you will like it too.” Don't set yourself up for failure. It is important to know that everyone is nervous to one degree or another before such meetings, and reminding yourself that your feelings are completely normal will help relieve stress. Don’t expect tears of affection and hugs< /strong> Remember also that you may still not like each other – and this is also a variant of the norm. No matter how sad it is to admit this fact, many parents, for a number of reasons, do not like any of their children’s chosen ones. And this has nothing to do with you personally, so don’t take it to heart. After all, your relationship is with a person, not his mom and dad. Don’t rush things Radmila says both partners must agree that they are ready for this next step before making plans to meet the family. If your significant other suggests meeting his or her parents, but you are extremely depressed about the idea, you should consider why. “Pay attention to your anxiety and see what it wants to teach you,” she says. “Is this meeting happening too early in the relationship? Don't you think this step is hasty?” Ask questions It's a good idea to charm your partner's parents by asking them questions; this will help you get to know the whole family better and show how interested you are in getting to know each member. “Ask about your partner, what they were like as a child, especially if there are any funny moments they remember. They will be pleased to remember,” says Radmila. “Don’t forget to talk about the qualities that you value in your partner.” Unsplash “If you are in their home, ask to see family photos. “Note special details you notice in the food and decor,” adds the psychologist. Not only will you learn a lot about your partner's family, but it will also show him that you are passionate, interested in and care about him and his family. Avoid sensitive topics There are certain topics of conversation that should be avoided when meeting your partner's parents for the first time 'If you don't know that you have the same views, the first meeting. It's probably not the time to start discussing political, financial or religious issues, says Radmila. Be yourself Remember that your partner is dating you because who loves and appreciates you – this is the kind of person they want to introduce their parents to. You may not want to reveal all of yourself to your partner’s mother and father at first, but don’t be afraid to show your individuality. 'Talk about your hobbies and interests, what. makes you delighted. Wear an outfit that you like and that makes you feel good,” the psychologist advises.
