Love will come unexpectedly – and will not ask whether you or the object of your passion have a stamp in your passport. This happens, let's just admit it: no one is safe from an affair with a married man, no matter who claims or ardently promises. But such a situation, of course, is fraught with many problems and pain. Here are some tips on how to date a married man and be happy.
Don't rush things
When you begin to communicate with a married man every day and the degree of tension increases, it can be difficult to ignore the sexual desire that takes over you. Taking your time at this point can be very helpful – don't rush into bed with him. “This will give you time to get to know him better: does he have real feelings for you or is he just bored in his marriage and is starting an affair with you to brighten things up a little,” explains psychologist Maria Rosens.
< strong>Be clear about your expectations and boundaries from the very beginning
First of all, for myself, so that there is no room for ambiguity. “If he's only interested in sex, ask yourself if you're okay with that (you may also just want sex, and that's okay, although some consider it immoral),” says Maria.
Unsplash If you are looking for more, you need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. Know that it won't hurt as much in the long run if he just decides to end the relationship because your goals don't align or you give it up because you see the warning signs. Watch, there are do you have casual and friendly chemistry with him An important factor in determining whether you want this relationship is assessing whether you have any chemistry with him outside of bed. Or even instead. After all, how long can a relationship last if it's only based on sex? “People think of romance only as physical love. However, there is a lot of humor, camaraderie and much more. If you're unsure about the future of your romance, being able to have a great time together outside of sex can be a good gauge for how compatible you are just as two people,” says Maria. If he tells you that he will divorce his wife, ask him when This topic will come up one day anyway, you understand? If he tells you that he is stuck in an unhappy, loveless marriage and cannot wait to divorce his wife, with whom he lives only for the sake of the children (and then all these songs that hang like tons of noodles on the ears of millions of mistresses). Unsplash “Don’t fall for these sweet promises. Ask him calmly about the timing and exact details of his plans to leave the marriage. If he remains silent or mumbles something unintelligible, know that he most likely wants to have a good time in the short term. No, you definitely don’t need to nag a person and pick your brains with his divorce, just ask yourself: are you ready to constantly be in the second role?” Maria convinces. Don't let him take advantage of you Many women fall into the trap of sob stories that married men tell them in order to get what they want and leave. Don't be one of them. “To prevent the married man you're dating from taking advantage of you emotionally, sexually, or financially, you must set and maintain healthy boundaries in the relationship from the beginning. Say right away what you expect from him and what you are willing to give in return,” explains Maria. Sounds cynical? No, this is a normal calculation. It's also basic honesty in a relationship, which is always a good thing. Date Other People You love this married man. You have butterflies in your stomach and everything. But he's already busy. No matter how many promises he makes, he has his own life, besides you, and it is busy: work, wife, possibly children and friends. Why should you put your life on hold just because you're dating him? “It is very important that you live your life to the fullest. Keep meeting new people, don't cut off your friends, and be open to the possibility of dating other men. Love Him well and cherish your time with Him, but don't close your eyes to the fact that there are many kind, generous men out there who can give you the relationship you deserve. If you are not ready to be the second woman all your life, you should not make him the “only” person in your life,” Maria is convinced. Avoid trying to compete with his wife When you know your man has someone else, it's normal to feel superior to her. However, trying to prove yourself better than your legal wife is unlikely to make him leave, and will most likely make you unhappy. If it's meant to be, he will love you for who you are. Unsplash Get rid of guilt Our world is strange. When a married man cheats, it is customary to almost sympathize with him. All condemnation usually falls to the mistress, although she is not deceiving anyone, but rather is the more vulnerable party. Which, by the way, they have been manipulating for years, promising to divorce and marry you (or simply deceiving you about their matrimonial status). But a man is not a ram on a string who could be taken away somewhere. He is an adult who consciously made his own choice. Let him be responsible for his words and actions. “If you don’t have a feeling of guilt, it will be more difficult to control you, and it will also provide the foundation for building healthy (for you) relationships with clear boundaries,” says the psychologist.
